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Sūrat al-Nisāʾ 4:34 makes men the managers (qawwāmūn) of their wives, describes the righteous wife, and sets out how a husband may respond to the first signs of a wife’s misconduct. This page gathers the questions readers most often ask about it, in the order of al-Tasnim’s commentary, each with a short answer drawn from what Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī says. Each answer links to the passage in al-Tasnim, so you can read more.
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Words and context
What does “qawwām” (manager) mean?
Qawwāmūn is the intensive form of qāʾim: one who manages the affairs of others without needing help. The husband manages his wife’s affairs and attends to her needs, so he is called qawwām. Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī notes that the light form would be used for a minor task, and the intensive form for a weighty one, as in Be maintainers (qawwāmīn) of justice (4:135).
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Detailed Exegesis · Verse 4:34 · The Difference Between Qā’im and Qawwām
What does “nushūz” (misconduct) mean?
It is the wife’s refusal to comply with her husband in their married life and to fulfil her obligations to him. The word comes from nashaza, “to rise”, so it signifies acting with pride and arrogance toward the husband. Fearing misconduct means seeing its first signs.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Detailed Exegesis · Verse 4:34 · Marital Misconduct
Is “Men are the managers of women” a statement or a command?
It is a statement intended as a command, like Be maintainers of justice. God has entrusted the wife to her husband: his responsibility is to protect her, sustain her, provide for her and manage her affairs.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · The Difference Between Qā’im and Qawwām · Verse 4:34 · The Difference Between Qā’im and Qawwām
How does the verse fit with the verses before it?
The previous verses dealt with the mutual rights of spouses, including inheritance. This verse takes the subject further and adds a new dimension of those mutual rights. Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī adds that the inheritance verses cannot be used to show that men have an advantage over women.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Coherence of the Chapter
Management, not superiority
Does the verse mean men are better than women?
No. Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī says true human perfection lies in knowledge and Godwariness, and those most sincere and most knowing of God are nearest to Him. Running a household or leading a community is an executive task; it does not mean spiritual superiority or closeness to God. Such roles call for practical capacities, such as physical strength and endurance, which are typically found more in men.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Human Perfection and Leadership · Verse 4:34 · Human Perfection and Leadership
Why is the husband the manager of the household?
For two reasons, both signalled by the causal bāʾ in the verse: his capability and managerial skill (because of the advantage God has granted some of them over others), and his duty to provide fully for his wife and family (by virtue of their spending out of their wealth).
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Why the Husband is the Manager · Verse 4:34 · Why the Husband is the Manager
What if the husband cannot manage or does not provide?
If he lacks either quality, or fails in his duties, he is no longer fit for the managerial role. And if the wife is wiser, more capable of managing the household and spends from her own wealth, Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī finds nothing in the verse that requires the husband to keep the role.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Why the Husband is the Manager · Verse 4:34 · Why the Husband is the Manager
Does “men have a degree above them” (2:228) show that men are superior?
No. The same verse says The wives have rights similar to the obligations upon them, and the Qur’an commands Consort with them in an honourable manner (4:19). Each spouse has rights over the other, and the “degree” refers to the executive role, not to an advantage in worth.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Why the Husband is the Manager
What is the real measure of a human being’s worth?
The spirit, which is neither male nor female. Faith and unbelief, honour and disgrace, Godwariness and sin all belong to the spirit, and the body is only its instrument. So, Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī says, when it comes to merit or excellence, gender should not even enter the equation.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions · Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions
The righteous wife
What does “righteous women are obedient” mean?
They are obedient to God by fulfilling their marital obligations and complying with their husbands. The words ṣāliḥāt and qānitāt describe a lasting quality, not a passing act. Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī reads the phrase as an answer to the false belief, and male arrogance, that a man is nearer to God because of his role.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · The Distinction of Women · Verse 4:34 · The Distinction of Women
Must a wife obey her husband in everything?
No. Her compliance is obligatory in matters of married life, and only where his requirement accords with God’s laws. If he asks for something against the religion, she is forbidden to comply. She may also make conditions in the marriage contract that free her from certain duties or limit his authority.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Limits of Compliance with the Husband · Verse 4:34 · Limits of Compliance with the Husband
What does “care-taking in the absence” mean?
Righteous wives guard the sanctity of the home, the wealth and dignity of their husbands, and the secrets of the household, especially while the husband is away. Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī notes that of what God has enjoined them to guard attributes this quality to God’s support (tawfīq): it is He who enables them to have it.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · The Wife: Keeper of Her Husband’s Secrets and Reputation · Verse 4:34 · The Wife: Keeper of Her Husband’s Secrets and Reputation
When marriage runs into trouble
Can a husband also be guilty of misconduct?
Yes. A husband who manages badly, cannot provide or neglects his family is a nāshiz; 4:128 deals with this. The wife first tries to advise him. If that fails, she may take her case to the religious authority (al-ḥākim al-sharʿī), who can urge or compel him and, if he persists and she cannot bear life with him, grant her a divorce.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Marital Misconduct · Verse 4:34 · Marital Misconduct
What may a wife do if her husband does not provide for her?
The authority can compel him to provide, and if he refuses, grant her a divorce. If he has gone missing, she waits while he is searched for; but if there is fear she may fall into sin, the authority may divorce her at her request, because “the wife is not a prisoner of her husband.”
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions · Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions
What three steps does the verse set out for a wife’s misconduct?
Advice, then keeping away from her in bed, then striking. The and between them marks a sequence of stages, from the mildest to the most severe, not three measures at once. If she returns to compliance after the first step, the husband must stop there.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Stages of Confronting a Rebellious Wife · Verse 4:34 · Stages of Confronting a Rebellious Wife
When do the steps apply?
The verse makes them conditional on the first signs of misconduct, not on misconduct in full. Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī sees wisdom in this: counsel given early can work, and it leaves time for reflection before things escalate.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · The Husband’s Stance Regarding the Wife’s Misconduct
What does “keep away from them in the bed” mean?
It is wise avoidance and an expression of displeasure, not abandoning her altogether. It may mean turning his back to her, as Imam al-Bāqir explained, or sleeping apart; Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī says both meanings are valid. He rejects readings that took the word to mean coarse speech or tying with a rope as products of a pre-Islamic mentality.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · The Husband’s Stance Regarding the Wife’s Misconduct · Verse 4:34 · The Husband’s Stance Regarding the Wife’s Misconduct
What limits does the commentary set on striking?
It is the last resort and only for misconduct, not for other matters such as neglecting housework. It must not injure, draw blood, break bones, or even leave redness or bruises; a narration compares it to striking with a miswāk (tooth-cleaning twig). The husband may not strike out of desire, rage or temper; it is meant only as a stern warning.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · The Husband’s Stance Regarding the Wife’s Misconduct · Verse 4:34 · The Husband’s Stance Regarding the Wife’s Misconduct
What does the verse say once the wife returns to compliance?
Do not seek any course of action against them: the husband is forbidden to harm her, physically or verbally. The closing words, Indeed, God is all-exalted, all-great, warn those who would wrong their wives: God forgives His servants when they return, and He has more power over a husband than the husband has over his wife.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Stages of Confronting a Rebellious Wife · Verse 4:34 · Stages of Confronting a Rebellious Wife
Questions about women’s rights
Does a woman’s smaller share of inheritance show she is worth less?
No. A man’s share is not always double; in some cases it is equal, and in some a woman receives more. The amount inherited is not a sign of superiority. A woman also keeps what she inherits, while a man must spend his on the family.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions · Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions
Why is the blood money (diyah) for a woman sometimes less?
Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī says blood money is not a measure of a person’s worth but financial compensation for bodily loss. That is why the blood money for a great scholar is the same as for a sinner. A person’s worth lies in Godwariness, which belongs to the spirit, and murdering a believing man or woman is an equally grave sin.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions · Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions
Does barring women from some positions mean they are inferior?
No. Roles such as judge or ruler are given for competence, not as a mark of merit or nearness to God, and a more righteous person may well be under the authority of another. Women can hold many responsibilities, such as agency, guardianship of orphans and the supervision of endowments, and society needs women professionals, such as doctors for women. To deny a woman a right by calling her weak, he says, is itself unjust.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions · Verse 4:34 · Subtleties & Allusions
Can a woman reach the highest spiritual stations?
Yes. Spiritual growth and nearness to God are equally open to men and women; nothing in Islam reserves them for men. A devoted mother raising her children may reach a station near to God through her sincerity, and if she dies in childbirth she is counted a martyr.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Human Perfection and Leadership · Verse 4:34 · Guardianship Over People
What the narrations say
What was the occasion of revelation?
Narrations say a man slapped his wife and she came to the Prophet seeking retribution; then the verse was revealed. In one version the Prophet said, “I intended one thing, and God intended another; and what God intends is better.” Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī holds that the Prophet would not have ruled before the revelation, since he does not speak of his own desire.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Discussion of the Narrations · Verse 4:34 · Discussion of the Narrations
What reward did the Prophet promise women for a good marriage?
A woman came as the envoy of the women and asked what reward they had, since men were rewarded for striving in battle. The Prophet replied that being a good wife and acknowledging the husband’s rights equals all of that, “though few among you do so.”
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Discussion of the Narrations
What did the Prophet say about women in the Farewell Pilgrimage?
He commanded the men to take good care of women, saying they have no right to treat them with anything but kindness, and that husbands and wives each have rights over the other. Āyatullāh Jawādī Āmulī comments that honouring and respecting women is a confirmed obligation in Islam.
Read more in al-Tasnim: Verse 4:34 · Discussion of the Narrations · Verse 4:34 · Discussion of the Narrations